IMAGINE ACTION!

Somewhere along the line we decided…

My alarm goes off at 7:30am. I snooze, 3 times before I have no other option than to drag my heavy, tired self out of bed.

Shit! Realising the time I know I am going to have to create another excuse as to why I am 5 minutes late…again.

I jump in the shower. BAM, my first obstacle of the day: whether or not I will wash my hair.

Second obstacle hits shortly after, as I scramble around the room trying to find something decent and semi ironed to wear to work.

Why didn’t I get myself organised last night before I went to bed, like I said I would.

After wasting 5 precious minutes trying to find myself amongst the mess. I am half ready and out the door. Yes, I will make sure I clean row place up tonight.

I drive myself to work, using each traffic light to slap on some foundation, bronze my cheeks and lengthen my lashes, fumbling with my clutch every time as frustrated drivers impatiently toot their horns behind me.

I arrive at work, run up the stairs and with my wet hair sloshed across my face I blurt out “OH MY GOD. I have been sitting in the worst traffic. A school bus broke down and they closed the whole main road, ON BOTH SIDES, so they could usher all the kids off and let another bus through AND a tow truck. Bloody inconsiderate arse holes. Traffic was crazy on both side and even trying to swing around the back roads was a nightmare.” I gasp trying to catch my breath.

Puzzled faces stare back at me, looks of amusement, and sighs of disbelief.  Closed a whole main road? Bloody arse holes? Wow I should have thought this one through a bit better. Quickly, trying to deviate the entire scene I have created and to find a place to hide in embarresment, I offer to make everyone his or her early morning pick me up…yes caffeine…GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

Once at my desk I turn on my computer and first task: I check me emails. Correct nothing important except a couple of coupon, scoupon, groupon, emails which I can’t afford to get sucked into right now.  So instead I send my usual email to my girlfriend to wish her good morning and complain about my own….for a whole page and a half!

Fantastic one hour done, 7 more to go…

And the workday probably continues like this…Becoming a hazy blur of procrastination and work, heavily siding towards procrastination with a few lame jokes in-between to ensure everyone at the office thinks I am cool. Which quiet clearly the don’t.

Home time draws near and I start to clean my desk, then the kitchen, then anything else around me that may look like it might need an extra little scrub. Whilst preparing for the work day to be completed, I have nightmare flashes of the pile of washing that’s creeping up the walls in my bathroom and guilt already begins to loom above me, knowing, yet again, that tonight will not be the night I become dear old Sadie!

By 5pm, my bag is packed, and I am hoping that my cute smile and puppy dog eyes will be enough for me to slip out the door without having to do overtime for the days work I can’t produce.

Phew! Not knowing whether it worked or they simply don’t care, I quickly mumble goodbye and I am out,

I make a quick stop at the gym, smash out a workout, the only thing that really makes me feel good about myself, head home and sooner or later after I struggle with what I might eat for dinner, deciding on vegemite toast, I find myself crawling into bed ready for it all to start again…

But imagine if one day we didn’t hit snooze, that we decided that life was far to important to waste another second getting lost amongst the mess we create.

Imagine we believed in our extraordinary talents and wanted to share them with the world.

Imagine we had the power to choose all our actions, to determine what we wanted to do.

That instead of letting our bodies feed off our negativity; we threw them a couple of nice, warm and fuzzies: We tried meditation, we found a love of boxing, we set small task like reading a chapter of a book a night, that made us feel like we had accomplished something when completed.

Just image we invested in a workshop or that short course we had been meaning to do but just haven’t got around too.  Imagine we reenrolled into university.

I want to learn to play the Ukulele….Imagine I did!

Imagine we did enough feel good things, that our bodies forgot what it felt like to feel depressed, fat, ugly, angry, defensive and lethargic.

And then what if the next day we just didn’t hit snooze.

Time to begin the short story I always wanted to.

Go for a run.

Add 10% of my monthly salary towards my next holiday that I am always complaining I can’t afford.

Did you know that the same receptors in our brains that catch excitement also catch virus and if they are too busy catching excitement then they got not time to waste on virus.

Imagine the possible because you can create it.

“Life Rewards Actions” – Benjamin J Harvey, Founder of Authentic Education. 

A Habitual Makeover!

I have a habit of giving up!

Strange for a girl who was born with good will, determination, strength and a back bone ingrained with stubbornness.

But my 20’s have some how taught me, when the going gets tough…wallk away! Over the last two weeks I have been dealing with a range of emotions all related to my habit of letting myself down.

The reason why it fustrates, angers, saddens and drives me crazy is that I see it happen right in front of my very own eyes and I don’t stop. In the midst of goal kicking, body smashing, power pumping I find an reason to fall of track.

In fact, I don’t event initiate it any more, like all habits be it bad or good, it has become part of my normal routine.  My brain has been been reprogrammed to automatically restart just as results are starting surface and transformations begin to transpire.

I have habit trigger’s that are deeply embedded into my subconscious and need to be attended to. Whilst Sara on the outside, is ready to commit to a new phase of fabyoulessness, ready to make changes towards creating a successfull, happy & healthier future, subconsciously, on the inside, emotional and physical habit triggers, are far to strong to help make my goals become a reality.

I am in need of hardcore habitual makeover!

My body is resisting change.  It extremely frustrating and very annoying.  Lately it has been keeping my on edge.   Why am I resisting? Why do i feel its a constant 2 steps forward one step back? I can see it, I can taste it and I KNOW I CAN HAVE IT by why is it so damn hard?

Anyone else out there feel my pain?

First I must remind myself that there is no quick fix, change isn’t easy and whilst i may have been working towards a new personal freedrom for quite some time, have I simply just been scratching at the surface?

What am I not releasing subconsciously that is holding me back?

I am one of the most disorganised person I know.  Just last week I lost my bank card for the third time this year!  In fact the stranger at the bank teller, who is clearly not really a stranger at all, told me that I should where it around my neck as she remembers ordering  me a new one only 2 MONTHS AGO!

I never write down a plan of action. In fact I never write down a plan. I create goals, formulate ideas and get ambtious and excited about future dreams but shamed to admit it,  I never actually write them down.

I take no real ownership from my goals. I don’t document them.  I don’t track them.

I have a habit of  avoiding accountability.

If nobody knows, no one will see me fail.

Why am I so scared of not achieving my goals?

Because I spend to much time worrying what people will think of me if I don’t do what I set out to do.

To scared of letting others down… I am letting myself down every day.

Did you know up until 3 days ago I was a smoker? After being a reformer smoker…….for 12 months…..TWICE! One of the worst habits a health enthusiast could have.  I mean talk about your body and mind acting in opposition right!

So where to now? My plan of action:  Identify, Destroy, Rebuild.

I am dedicating the last two months of 2014 to creating a well planned, solid platform, for no exceptions for fabulous 2015. Those New Years Resolutions which I draft in my head every year but never stuck to are going to be a nicely thought out list of goals to tick off. Published and finalised before midnight 31st of December.

But why should I wait to start working on them next year? There is no day like today! So whilst the list is developing I am already moving towards my habitual makeover!

“Change might not be fast and isn’t always easy.  But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.” – Charles Dughigg

This Sunday I will be posting a list of bad habits that I will be taking control of in 2015.  I challenge you to do the same.

You can keep track of my progress by watching this space.

Join in with the challenges and stay accountable with me!

I would love for you from you.

Please share your habitual enemies, plans for a makeover and goals for making 2015 fab-you-lous! 

So I don’t look like a Ballerina but I can deadlift my body weight!

I am falling in love with my body. I feel like a rejuvenated woman, in the early stages of a blossoming romance. It’s new, it’s extremely different and I feel fantastic.

I bet your thinking I must have lost 10 kilograms!

No. Recently I haven’t lost any weight, and that annoying 5 kilograms that is keeping me from my dream goal of 55 kilograms, still refuses to go away. To tell you the truth I think I am stuck with that for life and I don’t care.

Dearest stubborn five kilos welcome to my body, feel free to continue making your self-comfortable!

It no longer pains me to share that I am a 5ft1 female who weighs 60 kilograms.   You can turn your noes up at that; I won’t be offended because do you know what this means?

I am short, strong and sexy.

My weight struggles are no big secrete, I enjoy sharing them because I think people can learn from them. No, I have never been anorexic because, like most Italians I love food way too much. Food has always been my comfort. Some people don’t eat when they are stressed. Me? I eat when stressed. Being constantly stressed about not being thin meant I was constantly eating because eating made me feel better. However Once I was done eating, the guilt set it, I would vow to never eat again only to find that the stress would overwhelm me and I would just end up eating yet again.

Wow that hurt my brain just trying to explain it. A catch 22 and a complete mind jumble!

Doctors would have diagnosed me as a binge eater. This eventually rolled into; number one advocator for taking laxatives, because honestly who actually enjoys sticking their fingers down their throats not to mention the taste of acid shooting up their oesophagus.

Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Sure Slim, Atkins, South Beach, low carb, no carb, lemon detox drink, juices, special soup diet, you name it I have probably tried…and in between when they weren’t working, my drug of choice…laxatives.

Truth is, none of them worked. Sure I lost weight, but the beautiful Ballerina never once looked back at me in the mirror and my mind was still left angry!

I was never badly over weight and if people had of just left me to be a child and develop naturally things may have been okay. Instead I was constantly told what image was right, the prima Bellarine, and what was wrong, me. What I could eat, whole heap of carrots and celery sticks, and what I couldn’t: bread, pasta, chocolate, ice – cream, anything not in the heath and food isle!

To love food was my curse. You try telling an Italian to defy their natural instincts…well your just doomed from the start!

Naturally I am not a very big eater but when you starve your body or like when you tell a child you can’t have something they really want, when no one was looking I overindulged. My relationship with food developed a very negative connotation.

When I finally gave up trying to be what I was told to be and what I had believed to be perfect and began exploring different avenues, I started to formulate my own ideas, beliefs and goals.

Firstly, my body structure is not one of a ballerina. I have broad shoulders that I spent years defending; no I am not a swimmer. Mind you I used to hate it but now I just wear it as a compliment. My childbearing hips have a little extra something special from my Italian heritage; they are solid and round. These physical feature I cannot change this no matter how hard I try.

So what do I do now?

I take what I have, work with it and just make it better!

Knowing I love food means I have to work hard to enjoy it but working hard gives me that power to get what I want. Those little no no’s like chocolate, ice-cream, bread or pizza become my rewards and when I stop making them negatives sometimes I realise I don’t even need them, but you have to pleasure your sense every now and then!

Exploring ways to be fit and push myself has led me to sports and activities I would have never tried. I now enjoy going for runs, weight lifting, boxing, kettle bell workouts, cycling, last week my partner brought me roller blades! These activities are not chores but things I enjoy and choose to do, on my own or with friends.

Yes some may say I am big and yes sometimes I can’t wear certain tops because my shoulders are to broad, or certain pants because my thighs are thick but maybe that designer didn’t design those items with my body structure in mind and that’s okay.

When I first met my partner, his pick up line was “how much do you squat?” I was mortified, I immediately thought he was making fun of my thunder thighs. Unknown to me he was actually paying me a compliment! Today if I was asked, I would just turn around and say proudly 50kg (I am very happy to announce that this was my new record just made today!)

I am stronger than I have ever been both physically and mentally and that’s because I am interested in being fit and healthy and the only way to do that is with the right frame of mind.

So I know I will never look like a Ballerina, its not physically possible and I am just not made that way!

There is no point it trying to obtain unrealistic goals.

However I can and do deadlift my own bodyweight, an achievement that makes me proud of my body and what I can do!

Next goal is to be able to do a chin up.

Don’t let your surrounds determine what is right for you. Starting making choices that make you happy.