I started this blog well over a year ago as a little quest to try and find myself and some of the fabulous things this world has to offer. I wanted to share it with whoever might find some inspiration from it because the truth is, when all my barriers are down I just love to talk, write, make people laugh, lend a helping hand. Simply I love people and making connections.
Perhaps it was some call to the universe “Help me, help me”
However like most of my “brilliant ideas,” in which i tend to go in with all guns blazing and then sooner or later just lose the passion to drive through the sometimes not so blue sky, i stopped.
In the beginning of the year, after another Slow Flow Yoga class which ended in tears, I found myself, panda eyed, in my local cafe, annoyed and fustrated at the highs and lows of my body, mind and spirt, and as i ordered my second almond milk latte for the day, it was only 11am. Waiting impatiently for my next caffeine hit, I found myself propelled to an advertisement for a “Holistic Awakening” which they called Reiki:
“Do you suffer from chronic stress?” Yes of course, I am Italian!
“Are you fatigued?” Um hello who isn’t?
“Do you suffer from depression?” Blowing money on drugs and alcohol is just a way for me to relax and unwind after a stressful week! Everyone is doing it!
I threw the flyer down grabbed my coffee, without making eye contact with the kind gentlemen, mumble a quick thank you under my breath and walked briskly to my car, jumped in, lit a smoke and drove off. I couldn’t get away fast enough, and thinking back now i was in a pretty negative space.
A day later the flyer was still in the back of my mind, so i started to do a little research on this energy healing; Reiki.
The more i read the more i started to think. Did i have a lot of dormant energy blocked up inside of me? Was this why when i gave my mind and body time to slow down and release, I always ended up in tears? Or why i almost bit the head off the poor waitress at breakfast yesterday morning because my dad’s meal was late, or why most of my family were to scared to talk to me incase i erupted? Was i still letting the past decide my future? Unable to finally move forward because i was still holding on to so much more.
I asked a friend who seemed to be more in touch with her “spiritual side” and she recommended i try it out and gave me the number of a lady i now call my absolute angel!
Since February I have been seeing my healer almost weekly and the amount of rubbish i have stored in this poor body of mine no wonder it’s angry and hates getting out of bed every day! Week by week we clear a little more and make space for so many more possibilities.
I now walk around with crystals on my hands and hanging from my neck, meditate daily, I am working towards a 5:30am practice, but i am still addicted to the snooze button. I talk about chakras, and look for colours to attract vibrations, I consult my angle cards.
Early this week i made the decision to making a transition to turn vegetarian, its been playing on my mind for a while but after being exposed to the documentary Cowspiracy, i am finally starting to make more sustainable choices about what i put in my body. I have not eaten meat since Tuesday. I have an official end day on the 30th of May, as I am going to Japan and still want to try sushi there but who knows when its in front of me what i might do!
Tomorrow I am going on my first ever weekend retreat for yoga, mediation and healing and in the second half of the year I am going to embark on my Yoga Teacher Training Certification.
Have I found myself? Of course not! Do i know what my life purpose is? It changes every day!
However i do know that creative and autobiographical writing has always been a way in which i love to express so i am back at the key board and pushing on forward!
Transformations are not easy and at times i still want to rush out and buy a packet of smokes or waste my pay check on a “night out on the town” but i constantly remind myself be like the arrow: it must be pulled backwards before it can saw into the mystical unknown.
Hello and welcome back to my blog.