Welcome Back

I started this blog well over a year ago as a little quest to try and find myself and some of the fabulous things this world has to offer.  I wanted to share it with whoever might find some inspiration from it because the truth is, when all my barriers are down I just love to talk, write, make people laugh, lend a helping hand. Simply I love people and making connections.

Perhaps it was some call to the universe “Help me, help me”

However like most of my “brilliant ideas,” in which i tend to go in with all guns blazing and then sooner or later just lose the passion to drive through the sometimes not so blue sky, i stopped.

In the beginning of the year, after another Slow Flow Yoga class which ended in tears,  I found myself, panda eyed, in my local cafe, annoyed and fustrated at the highs and lows of my body, mind and spirt, and as i ordered my second almond milk latte for the day, it was only 11am. Waiting impatiently for my next caffeine hit,  I found myself propelled to an advertisement for a “Holistic Awakening” which they called Reiki:

“Do you suffer from chronic stress?”  Yes of course, I am Italian!

“Are you fatigued?” Um hello who isn’t?

“Do you suffer from depression?”   Blowing money on drugs and alcohol is just a way for me to relax and unwind after a stressful week! Everyone is doing it!

I threw the flyer down grabbed my coffee, without making eye contact with the kind gentlemen, mumble a quick thank you under my breath and walked briskly to my car, jumped in, lit a smoke and drove off.  I couldn’t get away fast enough, and thinking back now i was in a pretty negative space.

A day later the flyer was still in the back of my mind, so i started to do a little research on this energy healing; Reiki.

The more i read the more i started to think. Did i have a lot of dormant energy blocked up inside of me? Was this why when i gave my mind and body time to slow down and release, I always ended up in tears?  Or why i almost bit the head off the poor waitress at breakfast yesterday morning because my dad’s meal was late, or why most of my family were to scared to talk to me incase i erupted?  Was i still letting the past decide my future? Unable to finally move forward because i was still holding on to so much more.

I asked a friend who seemed to be more in touch with her “spiritual side” and she recommended i try it out and gave me the number of  a lady i now call my absolute angel!

Since February I have been seeing my healer almost weekly and the amount of rubbish i have stored in this poor body of mine no wonder it’s angry and hates getting out of bed every day!  Week by week we clear a little more and make space for so many more possibilities.

I now walk around with crystals on my hands and hanging from my neck, meditate daily, I am working towards a 5:30am practice, but i am still addicted to the snooze button.  I talk about chakras, and look for colours to attract vibrations,  I consult my angle cards.

Early this week i made the decision to making a transition to turn vegetarian, its been playing on my mind for a while but after being exposed to the documentary Cowspiracy, i am finally starting to make more sustainable choices about what i put in my body. I have not eaten meat since Tuesday.  I have an official end day on the 30th of May, as I am going to Japan and still want to try sushi there but who knows when its in front of me what i might do!

Tomorrow I am going on my first ever weekend retreat for yoga, mediation and healing and in the second half of the year I am going to embark on my Yoga Teacher Training Certification.

Have I found myself? Of course not!  Do i know what my life purpose is? It changes every day!

However i do know that creative and autobiographical writing has always been a way in which i love to express so i am back at the key board and pushing on forward!

TransformQuotefancy-4363-3840x2160-2ations are not easy and at times i still want to rush out and buy a packet of smokes  or waste my pay check on a “night out on the town” but i constantly remind myself be like the arrow: it must be pulled backwards before it can saw into the mystical unknown.

Hello and welcome back to my blog.

Namaste

xx

 

IMAGINE ACTION!

Somewhere along the line we decided…

My alarm goes off at 7:30am. I snooze, 3 times before I have no other option than to drag my heavy, tired self out of bed.

Shit! Realising the time I know I am going to have to create another excuse as to why I am 5 minutes late…again.

I jump in the shower. BAM, my first obstacle of the day: whether or not I will wash my hair.

Second obstacle hits shortly after, as I scramble around the room trying to find something decent and semi ironed to wear to work.

Why didn’t I get myself organised last night before I went to bed, like I said I would.

After wasting 5 precious minutes trying to find myself amongst the mess. I am half ready and out the door. Yes, I will make sure I clean row place up tonight.

I drive myself to work, using each traffic light to slap on some foundation, bronze my cheeks and lengthen my lashes, fumbling with my clutch every time as frustrated drivers impatiently toot their horns behind me.

I arrive at work, run up the stairs and with my wet hair sloshed across my face I blurt out “OH MY GOD. I have been sitting in the worst traffic. A school bus broke down and they closed the whole main road, ON BOTH SIDES, so they could usher all the kids off and let another bus through AND a tow truck. Bloody inconsiderate arse holes. Traffic was crazy on both side and even trying to swing around the back roads was a nightmare.” I gasp trying to catch my breath.

Puzzled faces stare back at me, looks of amusement, and sighs of disbelief.  Closed a whole main road? Bloody arse holes? Wow I should have thought this one through a bit better. Quickly, trying to deviate the entire scene I have created and to find a place to hide in embarresment, I offer to make everyone his or her early morning pick me up…yes caffeine…GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

Once at my desk I turn on my computer and first task: I check me emails. Correct nothing important except a couple of coupon, scoupon, groupon, emails which I can’t afford to get sucked into right now.  So instead I send my usual email to my girlfriend to wish her good morning and complain about my own….for a whole page and a half!

Fantastic one hour done, 7 more to go…

And the workday probably continues like this…Becoming a hazy blur of procrastination and work, heavily siding towards procrastination with a few lame jokes in-between to ensure everyone at the office thinks I am cool. Which quiet clearly the don’t.

Home time draws near and I start to clean my desk, then the kitchen, then anything else around me that may look like it might need an extra little scrub. Whilst preparing for the work day to be completed, I have nightmare flashes of the pile of washing that’s creeping up the walls in my bathroom and guilt already begins to loom above me, knowing, yet again, that tonight will not be the night I become dear old Sadie!

By 5pm, my bag is packed, and I am hoping that my cute smile and puppy dog eyes will be enough for me to slip out the door without having to do overtime for the days work I can’t produce.

Phew! Not knowing whether it worked or they simply don’t care, I quickly mumble goodbye and I am out,

I make a quick stop at the gym, smash out a workout, the only thing that really makes me feel good about myself, head home and sooner or later after I struggle with what I might eat for dinner, deciding on vegemite toast, I find myself crawling into bed ready for it all to start again…

But imagine if one day we didn’t hit snooze, that we decided that life was far to important to waste another second getting lost amongst the mess we create.

Imagine we believed in our extraordinary talents and wanted to share them with the world.

Imagine we had the power to choose all our actions, to determine what we wanted to do.

That instead of letting our bodies feed off our negativity; we threw them a couple of nice, warm and fuzzies: We tried meditation, we found a love of boxing, we set small task like reading a chapter of a book a night, that made us feel like we had accomplished something when completed.

Just image we invested in a workshop or that short course we had been meaning to do but just haven’t got around too.  Imagine we reenrolled into university.

I want to learn to play the Ukulele….Imagine I did!

Imagine we did enough feel good things, that our bodies forgot what it felt like to feel depressed, fat, ugly, angry, defensive and lethargic.

And then what if the next day we just didn’t hit snooze.

Time to begin the short story I always wanted to.

Go for a run.

Add 10% of my monthly salary towards my next holiday that I am always complaining I can’t afford.

Did you know that the same receptors in our brains that catch excitement also catch virus and if they are too busy catching excitement then they got not time to waste on virus.

Imagine the possible because you can create it.

“Life Rewards Actions” – Benjamin J Harvey, Founder of Authentic Education.