I have a habit of giving up!
Strange for a girl who was born with good will, determination, strength and a back bone ingrained with stubbornness.
But my 20’s have some how taught me, when the going gets tough…wallk away! Over the last two weeks I have been dealing with a range of emotions all related to my habit of letting myself down.
The reason why it fustrates, angers, saddens and drives me crazy is that I see it happen right in front of my very own eyes and I don’t stop. In the midst of goal kicking, body smashing, power pumping I find an reason to fall of track.
In fact, I don’t event initiate it any more, like all habits be it bad or good, it has become part of my normal routine. My brain has been been reprogrammed to automatically restart just as results are starting surface and transformations begin to transpire.
I have habit trigger’s that are deeply embedded into my subconscious and need to be attended to. Whilst Sara on the outside, is ready to commit to a new phase of fabyoulessness, ready to make changes towards creating a successfull, happy & healthier future, subconsciously, on the inside, emotional and physical habit triggers, are far to strong to help make my goals become a reality.
I am in need of hardcore habitual makeover!
My body is resisting change. It extremely frustrating and very annoying. Lately it has been keeping my on edge. Why am I resisting? Why do i feel its a constant 2 steps forward one step back? I can see it, I can taste it and I KNOW I CAN HAVE IT by why is it so damn hard?
Anyone else out there feel my pain?
First I must remind myself that there is no quick fix, change isn’t easy and whilst i may have been working towards a new personal freedrom for quite some time, have I simply just been scratching at the surface?
What am I not releasing subconsciously that is holding me back?
I am one of the most disorganised person I know. Just last week I lost my bank card for the third time this year! In fact the stranger at the bank teller, who is clearly not really a stranger at all, told me that I should where it around my neck as she remembers ordering me a new one only 2 MONTHS AGO!
I never write down a plan of action. In fact I never write down a plan. I create goals, formulate ideas and get ambtious and excited about future dreams but shamed to admit it, I never actually write them down.
I take no real ownership from my goals. I don’t document them. I don’t track them.
I have a habit of avoiding accountability.
If nobody knows, no one will see me fail.
Why am I so scared of not achieving my goals?
Because I spend to much time worrying what people will think of me if I don’t do what I set out to do.
To scared of letting others down… I am letting myself down every day.
Did you know up until 3 days ago I was a smoker? After being a reformer smoker…….for 12 months…..TWICE! One of the worst habits a health enthusiast could have. I mean talk about your body and mind acting in opposition right!
So where to now? My plan of action: Identify, Destroy, Rebuild.
I am dedicating the last two months of 2014 to creating a well planned, solid platform, for no exceptions for fabulous 2015. Those New Years Resolutions which I draft in my head every year but never stuck to are going to be a nicely thought out list of goals to tick off. Published and finalised before midnight 31st of December.
But why should I wait to start working on them next year? There is no day like today! So whilst the list is developing I am already moving towards my habitual makeover!
“Change might not be fast and isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.” – Charles Dughigg
This Sunday I will be posting a list of bad habits that I will be taking control of in 2015. I challenge you to do the same.
You can keep track of my progress by watching this space.
Join in with the challenges and stay accountable with me!
I would love for you from you.
Please share your habitual enemies, plans for a makeover and goals for making 2015 fab-you-lous!